I should've said something
by elaize
Summary: I loved him...if only I knew it back then! This is one shot about how Miyu realised she was in love with Kanata..if you find it interesting then do read and review!


**Hi, this is just a ONE SHOT so relax and enjoy...REVIEW if you like it!**

 ** _I should've said something_**

I guess I'll never forget the day you left. For the first time I really wanted to stop you when you walked away from me but I didn't and watched you leave, going away far faraway for forever. Watching you go I felt a sudden sense of loss and realised that I'll never be able to see you again, that it was the final goodbye and I had not even said it properly.

 **FLASHBACK**

'Please don't go. Please stay, I love you Kanata Saionji. Please don't leave me' this is what should have been on Miyu's mind because somewhere in her sub conscious mind she knew she was feeling a bit conflicted at the moment but what she said was completely different

 _"Don't you have even an ounce of affection for your friends Saionji. Don't you realize how much upset Akira is about you leaving and you can't even say a proper goodbye to her? You really are a worthless friend. Are you really human?"_ she almost screamed as she unexpectedly bumped into him on his last day at school. He was about to move to Tokyo the next day and had come to school in order to collect his transfer certificate.

 _"And who are you to tell me what to do and what not? Mind your own business Kouzuki"_ he replied leaning forward to drink water from the cooler.

 _"You are impossible Saionji. I just don't understand why do people bother to like you in the first place you obviously don't care enough for anyone"_ she replied exasperatedly _"anyway I do know one thing for certain that you are one hopeless person to befriend and I'm glad that you are moving away. At least Akira will be able to manage an ordinary hassle free life after you're gone"._

The ever present smirk on his handsome face was so irritating that even on his last day at school she could barely contain her irritation. She was completely oblivious to her own feelings for him at the moment and had no idea that the guy standing in front of her will be haunting her dreams in the coming years as she eventually realise her true feelings for him.

 _"By the way Kouzuki, will you miss me when I'm gone?"_ Kanata asked Miyu suddenly.

 _"Are you even serious, like really you expect me to miss a person I've hated for most part I've known him"_ she replied almost mocking him.

Kanata's expressions hardened for a moment but he regained his composure before Miyu could notice. He shrugged his shoulders saying _"mutual feelings"_ and turning on his heels walked away from her as she stood there watching him go.

For a fraction in that moment when he had turned his back to her she had felt a pang of an inexplicable emotion in her heart. She returned to her physics lab and remained strangely quiet for the whole day.

When Miyu returned home from her cram school that evening she locked herself up in her room and cried for no apparent reason. She suddenly felt all alone despite of being surrounded by her best friends Nanami and Aya. The days pass by and every day was the same; school, cram school and then home.

One evening she was returning home from her cram school and it was quite dark because her teacher had suddenly decided to take a surprise test that evening and now she was riding her cycle very fast in order to get home quickly. The sky was getting darker with every passing moment.

She suddenly found herself in a similar situation not very long time ago when she was being chased by Kanata as he too was returning from same cram school she attended. He was with one of his friends Santa, who also happened to be her friend as well and so she was not quite alone. But she was in hurry to get away from them because they were annoying her by singing a ridiculous version of her favourite song.

 _"Why are you running away from us Miyu?"_ Kanata called out to her from behind as she pedalled faster.

They passed over a speed breaker and she struggled to keep both her balance and her speed. But Kanata who was about to catch her lagged behind and shouted _"shit Santa, my wallet fell down. Please pick it up for me while I go catch up with her or she'll get away"._

He didn't stop and as Miyu heard him she tried to get away but soon he caught up with her.

 _"Are you scared of me Miyu, why are you trying to run away?"_ he asked her. Without glancing at him and trying hard to keep her speed constant she replied _"I'm not really a fan of you in case you haven't noticed"._

He seemed surprised by her answer and said _"Well usually I don't get to hear such kind words. I receive compliments in general from opposite sex mostly"._ Exasperate by his cocky behaviour she felt a snort escaping her mouth and remarked _"clearly you hang out with the wrong sorts, I'll be more than happy to give you a healthy dose of reality check every day"._

Raising his eyebrow Kanata asked her "And why do you think I would need that especially from you?".

 _"Exactly my point, I'm not really someone you want to waste your time on so stop following me around and leave me alone"_

With that she pedalled faster managing to overtake him. Kanata slowed down to wait for Santa who was yet to catch up with them but not before he made a completely irrelevant observation _"we're almost at your home"_.

She frowned at his stupid remark as she turned right from her school. Her school was at walking distance from her house and soon she was pushing her bike into the garage when she hears the unmistakably recognizable voice singing her favourite song in that ridiculous manner again. She turned around to see Santa and Kanata riding their bikes and laughing as they bee-lined for their own houses a few blocks away while she stomped all the way to the front door.

Miyu snapped back to the present as she turned right from the school.

 _'_ _I can't believe I had yet another flashback, oh god what the heck is wrong with me?'_

She had an insight along with her flashback and she realised that Kanata and Santa had found out the most annoying way to tail her till she got home so they could make sure she was safe because it had been quite late that evening.

 _'_ _Why didn't it occur to me that he was only trying to make sure that I got home safe and I had thought he was deliberately enjoying to make me feel miserable'_

The flashbacks were getting frequent now and it had been going on for quite some time. She couldn't understand why she was recounting each and every moment she had ever spent with Kanata and neither could she tell why she was thinking about him almost all the time. Her inability to reason with herself and her ambiguous feelings for Kanata were making her oddly restless and consuming most of her will power.

All she was hoping for was him to return, all she wanted was to see him again and she was getting nowhere near comprehending what had gotten into her lately. It's been almost six months since he had left Heiomachi yet not a day passed by when she didn't think of him.

One day at school she was playing spin the bottle with some friends and it was her turn to answer a question. Aya playfully asked her _"Miyu be honest, now that Kanata Saionji is not here, do you miss him"._

She stared at her best friend blankly for a few seconds and her default reaction was to snort and say 'No way'.

But then her heart began to beat faster at the mention of his name. She asked herself with all the sincerity for the first time _'do I really miss him? Why do I miss him?'_

Finally at the back of her mind a very timid voice replied _'because you love him idiot. You have always loved him despite of him being the biggest flirt who changed girlfriends as if he was changing clothes. You always argued with him because you craved for his attention and now that he's gone forever you can't stop thinking about him. You can't get him out of your heart or your mind. It's simple it's because you love him'_.

The thought not just shook her but she could almost feel the tears welling up and she begged to god that her friends don't notice as the bell had just rung indicating that the class was over. She couldn't possibly attend any class so she walked out before Aya could ask her why she was behaving strangely.

That day she spent her whole day playing basketball and exerting herself to avoid thinking about Kanata but not a single moment passed without his face popping in her mind again and again. She couldn't concentrate on her game at all.

She realized that she was hopelessly in love with someone she had never thought she could fall for. She was in love with someone she had hated all the time when he was there and now he wasn't.

She was in so much love with Kanata that when few weeks later a very good friend asked her out she turned him down because she knew that she wouldn't be able to reciprocate his feelings as she was in love with someone else, someone she'll probably never see again.

 _'_ _Five years have gone by and I'm about to graduate from college and I'm still single'_ wrote Miyu in her diary as she sighed for what it seemed like millionth time.

 _'_ _Not that I've never been approached by anyone but because I still love Kanata even after all these years. I'll just try to focus on my career but sometimes my mind does goes back to that day when I last saw him. I still remember how he had walked and I remember feeling an imminent loss, as if I was grieving a loved one but I didn't know why then.'_

 _'_ _I know now but it's too late and nothing I can do about that. All I can do is wish and think – "I should've said something"'_

 ** _Review_** How was it? Do not cringe...I know it is a lot more than just a tad bit cheesy but in my defence I would say that this is the very first thing I ever wrote...


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